Helpful Hints for the Handyman Department

Editor’s note: “Helpful Hints for the Handyman,” a new feature here at Dispatches from Outland, is written by expert handyman Lester “Three-Fingers” Wilcox.

A basic household flamethrower is a great tool for getting rid of those annoying little cobwebs in the corners of the living room ceiling.

And this is a good job to give little Johnny some experience handling this versatile tool. What red-blooded boy doesn’t want to play with a 50-foot stream of flaming death?

Just remember: Safety first! Even a simple tool like a flamethrower can cause damage or injury if not treated with respect.

If you don’t already own a flamethrower, ask at your local hardware and surplus military munitions store for a recommendation.

Lester will be back with his next helpful hint as soon as he’s released from the hospital.

Comments

[mike]

As long as little Johnny doesnt set the house on fire, sounds like a great idea!

[Program]

Apologize for my bad english, I deem its a precarious hell of your writing. Sumptuously I be suffering with faced alot of difficulties in this train but your article discretion definately help me in future. Say thank you You