From the Frontiers of Science Department

Gaspard, B.F. (2009). On the synchronicity of the discharge of ionized sulfur particles from Io’s polar regions and Ms. Astrid Lingonströtter commuting patterns. Journal of Applied Planetary Research and Ironmongery, 257(1), 77-193.

Abstract: The author describes several months of detailed observational data on the duration and intensity of discharges of ionized particles of sulfur from the polar regions of Jupiter’s innermost Galilean moon, Io, which are synchronous with the daily trips taken by Ms. Astrid Lingonströtter on the J bus, when she rides from her apartment on 42 Avenue to her place of employment on Euclid Avenue.  The author notes an increase in intensity of these discharges when he worked up the courage to say hello to Lingonströtter, and describes a hypothetical system of sympathetic resonance between Io and Jupiter, and Lingonströtter and himself. He provides a mathematical model for predicting the intensity of the ion discharge when he asks Lingonströtter if he can meet her for coffee after work.

Comments

[Lars Walker]

Elegant.

[Tish]

Makes me wonder what it takes to get published in the Journal of Applied Planetary Research and Ironmongery. Might have to look into that.